Allonz-y and hunt demons
by piratewitch92
Summary: A collection of short misadventures starring Jace Wayland and the 10th Doctor. Mainly movie based.
1. pears

**Pears (A 10th Doctor and Jace Wayland Fanfic)**

Jace made his way through the busy London street market, unseen by the mob of people surrounding him. Despite being on familiar Earth for the first time in a month, the hooded teen was furious. First, the Doctor had the nerve to take all his weapons and hide them, leaving only his handy stele -which was actually a good thing to have but didn't exactly decapitate demons either. Then he sent him grocery shopping?! What was he, the maid?

Of course, the Shadowhunter knew exactly why the Doctor was being so hard on him. One tiny accident with what looked like a Ravener mated with a giraffe on some other Star Wars-y planet and suddenly he was just an errand boy. That alien thing attacked him first! But of course, the Doctor believed "Words before weapons." Yeah, well Jace was a firm believer in kill it before it kills you. As it was the creature had already drained the Tardis before attacking them. Hence the pit stop in London to refuel.

He took another glance at the shopping list - seriously, he felt like a housewife - to remind himself what else he needed to get. You'd think infinitely huge ship like the Tardis would b permanently sto- "What the f…" He thought aloud as he read the following:

Needed:

Bananas

Loose Leaf Tea

Nutella

Apples

Fish Fingers

Custard

**Do NOT, under ANY circumstances, BUY PEARS!**

Jace smirked as he read the Doctor's bold inked note. So the Doctor didn't like pears. This was waaaaay too easy. The first stand he saw selling pears he approached. "How much for a case of pears?"

The Doctor strolled through the Tardis, buttoning up his jacket. It was exceptionally quiet as he had sent Jace out for a few desperately needed items. Good kid, Jace. A little rough around the edges but what teen wasn't? Admittedly he was a bit more weapon happy than the Doctor would've liked. He respected that Jace was a warrior born and bred. But still there were other ways to resolve conflict.

After a quick pit stop to the vault to make sure Jace hadn't managed to reclaim his weapons, the Doctor made his way to the controls of the Tardis. The Tardis should have been close to fully charged and ready to go. Right away though the Timelord knew something was amiss.

HIs first clue was the pungent aroma of fresh fruit. Pears to be precise. Which was impossible as the Doctor despised pears with a burning passion. Also he didn't use air fresheners in the Tardis. She wasn't a car.

HIs second clue was him nearly falling on his face as his converse clad feet slipped on something round. He managed to catch himself on the railings, straightening himself. As he looked down to see what he tripped on, his eyes widened in shock. "Whaat?" He asked in a squeaky voice as he picked up… a pear.

In fact, there wasn't just a single pear. There were hundreds spread all over the Tardis floor, even a few decorating the control console. "_What?!" _The Doctor ran his hands through his hair, shocked. "Who would bring-" The thought cut off as a lightbulb lit up. "Jace…"

Sure enough, the blonde teen was perched in one of the Tardis's nooks, munching contently on a pear. Sensing the upset Timelord's gaze, he turned to him. "Eh… What's up, Doc?" He took another bite out of his pear, looking completely unphased but the Doctor's glare.

"What's up? My Tardis is filled with _pears!_ That's what's up!" Jace surveyed the room, still unaffected.

"Really? I hadn't noticed. Good thing you love pears though."

"You know I hate pears!" Confusion crossed the Shadowhunter's handsome features.

"You do? Really? I didn't know that." It would've been convincing too if Jace had kept the mischievous glint out of his eyes. "I always got the impression you loved pears."

"Oh, don't give me that rubbish!" The Doctor proceeded to hurl the offending fruit at Jace with the intent of knocking the cheeky lil bugger off his perch. "You did this! As revenge! For me taking your weapons!"

Jace somehow managed to get down gracefully while avoiding the pear missiles. "Doctor! I am hurt you would accuse me of such a thing!"

"Oh, come off it! We both know you're lying! Even if you didn't know, I specifically wrote on the shopping list don't. Buy. PEARS!" He enunciated each word with a pear aimed at the teen's head. Jace dodged every throw, his impish pride finally cracking his innocent facade.

"Alright, so what if I did put all these pears here? I feel I was provoked!"

"Provoked?! WHAT?!"

"Honestly, Doc. I cannot take you seriously when you squeak like that."

"It's 'Doctor!' Not 'Doc!' And I had good reason to take your weapons, that Veniraptar is an endangered species!"

"It attacked me first!"

"You poked it with your stele! It defended itself!"

"I thought it was dead! Anyway my weapons ended up saving our both our butts! So I'll be more than happy to accept the return of my weapons in exchange for removing…. ninety nine percent of the offensive fruit."

"Oh you're definitely going to clean up **all **of these pears. If fact…" The Doctor made his way to the broom closet, pulling out a bucket and a mop. "You're going to clean the entire Tardis except my room, top to bottom!" He tossed the surprised teen the cleaning tools, smirking. "And I'll be moving you weapons into my room. You'll get them back once you're done."

"But that'll take weeks! Maybe even months!"

"Then you'd better get started, Jace." With that, the Doctor turned on his heel and strode out of the Tardis, a string of curses from Jace following him.


	2. Timelord care for Shadowhunters

**Timelord Care for Shadowhunters: Lesson 1**

"Doctor, nothing about this is a good idea."

"Oh, come on, Jace. I'm not human it could work!"

"No but you're just about as stupid as one. Are you even licensed to drive this Tardis?"

"Weeeeeell….."

"Very comforting, Doc."

"Don't be like that. Here." The Doctor proceeded to unbutton his coat, a rather silly grin on his face. "What's the worst that can happen?"

"Famous last words." Jace shook his head as a red tie landed on his head. "Seriously, Doc. I can't do this."

"Oh, it won't hurt me a bit. And it certainly won't hurt you." By now, the Doctor was pulling his undershirt off. "Besides, we both know you want to do it." The Shadowhunter's face flushed bright red.

"Maybe I do. But for once I think I'll listen to that little voice that let's me know NOT to follow a stupid idea." Jace shook the tie off his head, turning to leave. "Contrary to popular belief, I do listen to it sometimes." He grabbed his shirt off the Tardis console as he passed.

"Jace, please…" The teen stopped short as the Doctor deployed his best weapon. The lonely kicked puppy voice. "You're the only one who can do this…. The only one I can trust…"

"Doc, we can't…"

"Yes, we can. No one has to know." Jace groaned as they both know he would give into the Doctor's wishes. The younger boy sighed.

"Alright… Fine…" He turned, pulling his stele out of his pocket. The now-shirtless Doctor grinned like a child at Christmas. "Where do you want it?"

Jace regretted few things in his life. Spending his life in the dangerous occupation of Shadowhunter he did not regret. The time he switched Izzy's shampoo with bleach he gleefully did not regret. The creature the Doctor had turned into from the rune he VERY much regretted.

It was an insight rune. A freaking INSIGHT rune. It shouldn't have had any obvious effects on him. Boy was that ever wrong. It had made the already energetic Doctor HYPER. And not five-year-old on a sugar high hyper. It was a ten year comic book fanboy meeting his favorite superhero hyper. Apparently, Shadowhunter runes were like straight out sugar to Timelords.

Currently, the Doctor was bouncing around the console shirtless, babbling at three hundred words a second about some distant galaxy. Jace had given up on trying to decipher his ramble. "What have I done?" The Shadowhunter had been forced to seek refuge in one of the Tardis's nooks. The Flash had nothing on a hyperactive Timelord.

After about an two hours of going crosseyed and listening to psycho babbling, Jace figured he might as well put the hyperactive alien to good use. Not like there was any sign of him slowing down anytime soon. "Doctor!" He grabbed the man by the shoulders, effectively stopping him. "You SERIOUSLY need to run off all this energy."

"Yeahyeahyeah! Totallyagree!"

"Well some of my gear is still caked with….. Goop, and sand from that bipolar swampy desert planet. I can't get it off to save my life."

"Oh! I've got just the acid for that! Don't worry! It won't hurt your weapons but it will hurt you. I'd better get started!" With that, the hyperactive Timelord bounced off, still shirtless.

"And put a shirt on! Nerd."

6 hours later…..  
Jace was lounging against the Tardis console reading when the Doctor plopped down beside him, using the teen's shoulder as a pillow. He let out a pitifully exhausted groan. Jace gave him an unsympathetic glance before returning to his book. "Finally worn out?"

"Never again…."

"I'll take that as a yes." The Doctor groaned again. "Remember anything?"

"No…." There was a pause between the two. "I didn't destroy my Tardis did I?"

"I put you to work before you could get destructive."

"That explains why I woke up in your room."

"Don't worry I didn't do anything inappropriate. I like my dates willing and aware. And FEMALE." The Doctor smirked tiredly.

"Such a disappointment." Jace chuckled.

"What I want to know is why it made you hyper. It's an insight rune."

"Well your runes enhance your abilities right? In this case the mind?"

"Yes."

"Well my mind is what makes me run. Curiosity and all that. Enhance that and I turn into an energizer bunny." The blonde nodded in agreement. The Doctor did get more energetic when challenged mentally. "That or my two hearts confused everything and made me hyper. This earned a chuckle from both Timelord and Shadowhunter.

"That is a possiblity." The two shared another chuckle. "So Doc…. You ever gonna put on a shirt?"

"What?" The Doctor looked down and let out a shocked gasp. Sure enough, the Doctor was bare chested, rune blatant in the center. He covered himself, blushing bright red. "How rude of me!" With that, the alien took off for his room, Jace laughing in his wake. "I'm not ginger and not rude!"


End file.
